What a crazy few months it has been everyone! I'm so sorry for neglecting my blog (if anyone reads it that is) but school has been driving me up a wall. I've been a little bear in her cave for the past two months just working on end of semester projects...really end of grad school projects. That is true ladies, I graduate in one week..exactly. I am so thrilled to have finally reached the finish line. I've been pretty busy with school but I did take some times to do some yarny fun as well.
My preciosa Jazmin eating some yummy oranges
I've been given a gift in one of my projects to observe and document the language development of my niece, Jazmin. It has been a pleasure since I got to spend so much time with her and video tape her playing and squealing and laughing. To watch this little girl grow makes me want to be a better tia (aunt) and a better woman.
This is the beginning of a sweater for my teacher's baby. I actually have more parts done. I've just yet to photograph them.
My sister Millicent with her new fingerless armwarmers made out of Felici Rainbow. It was for her birthday. She's a St. Patrick's day baby.
My first attempt at fingering weight socks. There are more pictures I will add when I have some time.
Yarn porn...oh yeah love it.
My first yarn winder, a nosepinne? something like that.
I made two of these hats for two very special people. My family and I went to a comedy show and I made these for the performers.
This is my family and I at the comedy show with the comedians, Dov Davidoff in the black leather jacket and Bryan Callen in the purple sweater. That's right ladies, those are my hats they have. Bryan wore his and Dov had his in his hand for this picture. Loved it
I'm rushing off to school for my last day of formal class. I will post more asap everyone. Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts as my family and I hit this last leg of my journey in school.
Eaten so far today:
Eggs and Tortillas
Coffee
Noodles with a bit of alfredo sauce
Bit of thin steak
Good ol' Fruit punch
Knitted so far:
I've been toiling away at my latest two projects. For those who follow, or who occasionally glance, I had finished my first prayer shawl a few months ago. I quickly selected a new pattern, mimicking the pattern I made for my Behavioral Analysis teacher who was just about to burst with her first son. I have to say thus far it's going pretty well. I made a mistake on a row but it's hardly noticeable so I've decided not to frog back.
Wavey Pattern blankie/shawl
Just showing a bit of the stitching up close.
I'm about two feet into this blanket. It's been about a month now working on it but in all fairness I've been working on another project which I will show you soon and school has hit full force. I will continue working away at it though and hopefully my Lord will give me the strength to get through another shawl made in His name.
The second project I have on my needles is not quite on my needles. Yes, people, I am confessing now. I have taken to hooking. In all honesty, I learned to crochet first but then took to knitting very quickly. I was pretty much an exclusive knitter (soon you will see why) but I saw this very cute throw on Ravelry but lo' and behold...it was a crochet pattern! I cried softly to myself until I decided to (as my brother says) "sack it up," dusted off my crochet hooks and began a new throw for myself called the Snowflake Throw.
I made this picture a bit bigger so you can see all the snowflakes I've done so far including two that are semi done.
I have to say this has been an experience for me and I think I may have a secret love for hooking. I would never say I give up on my knitting but now I am bi-stitchual.
As you have probably guessed, I am a survivor of Blizzard 2011 here in the great state of Illinois. We braved the front of a pretty bad storm that hit much of the mid-west, blanketing us in soft pillowy white snow. My tale actually begins yesterday. Tuesday afternoon I received a call from my mother asking me what I was doing. Obviously on my weekdays Monday through Thursday, I am usually preparing for class by studying, showering, or dressing (she reached me when I was doing the first one). So she called me and asked what I was doing and I explained I was preparing for my test when she subtly implied (as subtle as you can be to a Deaf woman) that I stay home. (Intermission: Yes I am a Deaf woman but I do have enough residual hearing to pick some some calls and with my new hearing aids I can hear better on the phone. I associate myself with my Deaf culture though...End Intermission.) We had known a blizzard was coming for a while. At first I figured it was another of Chicago's famous meteorologists guessing that the sky was going to fall when it would actually be bright and sunny. My teachers had been sending preemptive emails saying not to worry that the weather would not be that severe until later (which actually were kind of stern about coming to class as not to miss an impending quiz) but my mom was very concerned and asked me to call my teachers and ask about other options so I could stay home and not lose out on points. I took her advice though and called my teacher via VRS but was only met by an answering machine. I continued studying thinking I would brave the storm since there was a quiz that day and I didn't want to miss it. Later in the day she called again was practically telling me, Melissa, stay home. It's not worth risking your safety to go to school. Normally I would jump at this but this being my final semester I didn't want to wimp out and miss class. So I tried calling again through VRS but nobody answered again. Just after I got off VRS I got an email from my teacher who had said classes were canceled. Woohoo! Then after that I got an email blast from the University that all night classes were canceled. Woohoo for everyone!
I have to say to my surprise the blizzard was actually a blizzard. My mom ended up coming home early (the village we live in called her employer and other businesses to instruct employees to go home due to the coming storm). My brother came home at normal time but he arrived in the beginning of the storm. From inside, the three of us watched as snow piled outside our windows and doors. We were amazed with how quickly our landscaping turned from green to feet of white snow. I don't mean inches..I mean feet. The smallest drifts that we had had to have measured a foot and a half, the biggest drifts had to have measured close to four feet if not more. We focused our day today on cleaning up an old Christmas Tree, completing homework, and plowing the driveway which took all three of us working cooperatively to get that done. It was a task but I'll tell you, I've never worked out so hard. We of course celebrated our well earned success with nice cups of hot chocolate.
I did want to include some pictures of our house and the crazy snow that attacked us. So please enjoy!
Picture 1: Our backyard. Those trees are actually taller, they are just hidden by tall snow.
Picture 2: My mom thought it was cool how the snow was sticking out of the drain.
Picture 3: Our front yard. There are actually shrubs and levels that are hidden in the snow. Freaky right?
Picture 4: The booger about to brave the cold.
Picture 5: Mom and the booger outside in the backyard. They are standing in the area that was probably hit the least.
Picture 6: The booger braving the tall drifts. As you see he's having a bit of trouble already.
Picture 7: My brother is 6 feet tall and all legs. See how the snow is coming up to his hip.
Picture 8: My brother posing for mom. Some of the drifts back there go up past his waist.
Picture 9: Booger fall down.
Picture 10: Mom taking pictures of said booger fall.
Picture 11: A little tree in our front area covered in snow. The little snowy balls hanging were actually old decorations for Easter.
Picture 12: That's our water hose...not anymore at least.
Picture 13: That's the front of the house. It got hit by some tall snow. It almost reaches the window.
Picture 14: Oh wait..it does.
Picture 15: That's our neighbor's attempt to bury himself out. Alas, there is no hope.
Please pray for us all who are still waiting for plows to come but most importantly please pray for the 100s of homeless people in Chicago and surrounding areas who have no warmth tonight. May God shine His love on them and guide them to safe warm places.
Much love to everyone battling the cold..where ever you are...
Meli
I am so absolutely slow it's pathetic but I finally uploaded the few Christmas pictures I got. I wasn't able to take snapshots of my dad and brother wearing their scarves but I got my sister and brother in law in their gifts.
My Brother in Law Hector with his hat.
My baby girl, little sister Millicent with her headband and a new jacket from mom.
Here's my mom with a picture of a perfume she got from my sister.
This is my precious one, my little niece with her new table and chairs from her grandma (my mom).
Eaten so far today:
1 yogurt cup
1 (ok 1.5 doughnuts)
1 can of Diet Pepsi
1 cup of coffee
Knitted since the last time:
I've actually been in a knitting slump since the last time we spoke. I'm not sure if it is starting up school again or the heavy course load I signed up for this semester but I've been pretty exhausted and busy reading that I haven't really picked up much.
I did work on my new prayer shawl a bit and have about a foot done. If you look at it carefully you'll notice it is the same pattern as the baby blanket. I love the wave pattern so much that I wanted to do it again. The problem with doing it again is that you're not as motivated to keep knitting because the pattern is so familiar.
Wavy Prayer Shawl in Grey Caron Simply Soft
I have really enjoyed working with the Caron Simply Soft since I've been trying to be frugal. I am missing my wool, alpaca, merino, and blends of the like alot though. I look forward to being able to hit KnitPicks again soon!
I've also picked up my crochet hook again which I haven't done in years. I blame the leader of the Prayer Shawl Ministry at our church, Margo. I love Margo to bits but she did this mystery motif in crochet and I participated. That whetted my appetite for other crocheted items. So I broke down, bought some Red Heart, and began a snowflake throw. I have many more of these motifs done but I wanted to share a sample of what they look like.
Snowflake Throw motifs in Red Heart
I don't typically like Red Heart but I made my mom this headband and scarf set in Red Heart and it was warm and after a wash it was kinda soft so I figured what they heck. It seemed warm enough for the scarf, why not make a throw.
Today is Friday and it happens to be one of the coldest days as of late. I plan to spend time indoors and rest but most importantly, I plan to work on my projects some rather than sit and read. I've been sitting and reading all week. Literally all week. I'm getting quite sick of sitting and reading academic material and it's only the second week. If all I had to read was homework and articles, I could see maybe I'm overreacting but I have to read even in class. My accommodations in my grad classes are real time captions provided by court reporters. They are lovely women and I appreciate all the hard work they do but sometimes I just want to sit and talk to someone. Not talk, sign. I just want to sit and chat with someone in my language. I miss my friends who live far away and as much as I try to fill my days with family and schoolwork, sometimes I just miss my friends and talking about B.S. It hits me when I'm in school how really alone I get and I think sometimes I fall into a state of feeling sorry for myself. I usually bounce out of this pretty quickly so I'm sure by Monday I'll be right as rain. I allow myself these brief moments because they tend to pass and I'm back to being myself. Sometimes I just wish there were more people in the world like me, so maybe when I do come about, I'm not so socially isolated. It would be common to see Deaf and hard of hearing people and it wouldn't be such a shock. Maybe with the way headphones and loud music are being played, I won't be alone for long.
HA!
I just returned from my brother's high school. He was recognized for his achievements in English. I love going to these functions, even if they are just a few minutes because I like seeing how others see him. I see the bratty annoying little brother who I love more than life itself but to see what others see, it's pretty cool. He's got so many layers that they only get to see the surface and that surface is one hell of a guy. I added some pictures here so that everyone can share in my pride.
Just a general picture of the assembly in the cafeteria
My brother with his certificate. I took one that was more proper, this one was "booger" style. My nickname for him is the booger.
This is my booger. I forgot what I said but I caught him off guard and snapped this picture to capture him au natural.
Eaten so far today:
Can of soup
Piece of bread
Rice with chicken for dinner
And a cup of coffee in the morning
Knitted so far:
Since we last spoke, I have finally completed my first prayer shawl for the prayer shawl minstry I am in. I hope that it reflects the warmth and safety of God's love. I'm already working on number two which I am sharing with you. It looks alot like the baby blanket I made for my teacher but this one is bigger with worsted weight yarn instead.
First Prayer Shawl made from Lion Brand Homespun
Second Prayer Shawl in progress made with Carons Simply Soft
I am approaching the first day of my last semester of school. I am both excited and scared out of my wits. I mean who ever would have thought I...my dumbass...would ever be able to complete this level of study. It leaves me with the burning question: "What else am I capable of?" "Do I even realize my full potential?"
I am sure I'm not the only one who's come across this idea of what can we actually do as human beings? Secular-wise, the possibilities are unlimited, as far as the human mind will imagine. As Christians though, our potential is something we can never even being to imagine. The Lord can do more than we can even possibly imagine. We can think of the most outrageous, insane, cosmic stuff and he can take it not one but 50 steps further and beyond. To wield that kind of power must be amazing, no wonder we are in awe of him.
With this though, I have been wrestling with the concept in my mind of what does he have planned for me. Will it even be close to what I may want or is it in a completely different direction. I realize I have no choice, I accept I have no choice, I am His servant and what He wants I have to oblige...but is it bad to hope? To hope one day to be married and have children? Parents always tell me "Oh you don't want to be a mom, it's so hard and you lose all time for yourself..." That really bothers me. Why would you tell someone what they don't want when they are telling you otherwise? Why would you think my desire to have children is something I should put aside because it's hard? Everything is hard. Anything that is hard is worth having though. If it was easy, what would be the challenge? But now as I pass 28 and continue toward finishing school, I wonder, maybe the Lord put those people in my path to help soften the blow that will happen when I realize, marriage and children are not possible for me.
I don't have opportunities to meet people and I don't even know how I would go about doing that. Unless the good Lord places him right on my doorstep (which is in His power to do), I'm pretty S.O.L.
I could have children on my own, which I would love to adopt but I would not want to put someone through the pain I went through not having a dad around. How fair is it for me to put a child through a single home like I did just to fulfill that selfish need to have them?
These are weak moments I have that come more and more as I get older. I know I need to have more faith and not question my path. I guess it's hard to resist the urge to be like a whiny child to her Father. Please keep this weak heart in your prayers as I pray for you all in mine.
Eaten so far today:
Way too much to say and be proud of....but it was delicious
Knitted so far today:
Nothing as it has been a wild crazy busy day.
I know it's been a while since my last post and I do apologize for the few who do actually keep up. This past month has been only about school. Like...only about school. Project after project and paper after paper. Finals are finally done and I am only working on my internship now. I really thought that I was going to have a nervous breakdown midway through but with the grace of God I've made it through, praise Him!
I have made a big decision recently and I have decided to go back to using hearing aids. I've spent the past few years not using them because frankly, they suck. I really hate the feeling of having plastic shoved in my ear and listening to what sounds like breath on a microphone all day. But that's not the worse part of it all. It's the stigma that kills me. The look that you get from people who see these hooks on the back of your ears or the chunk of plastic stuck inside and they get it...they know. Why does the fact that I am Deaf freak people out so much? Why do I get the automatic assumptions that either I can't communicate intelligently? Or that I am not capable of higher thought? I just get really frustrated with the whole backwards way it is. We're supposed to be trying to contribute to society but then we're getting the shaft in the way people assume.
Now I have to go through the whole stupid process of getting new hearing aids so that I can function in this world that has no room for a Deaf person like me and am still expected to act like a hearing person, speak like a hearing person even though I am NOT a hearing person.
On a happier note, I do finish my Master's program next semester. It's been made official, the classes I have now are all I need to finish. I just have to get through Spring semester and pass the classes I've registered for and I am home free. How cool is that? All these years of work culminating to this...I couldn't be happier.
Now as this year comes to a close, I am happy to say I'm glad I went through all the crap I did. I learned not to take anything for granted, don't have such low standards for myself, and to always want the best. It's very hard to want the best when you have to start accepting that you are worthy of the best. So thank you for listening to my rants these past months and for listening in the future.
Ohh by the way! December 15th I turn 28 so keep me in your prayers please as I battle another year with yarn and life!
What I've made since the last time:
Baby blanket for my Behavioral Studies teacher. She was having her first son. Her first two girls are absolute dolls!
This hat was actually done but I never got a picture of it before I gave it to my communication facilitator. She's one awesome lady and I love her to bits. She helps me so much.
Eaten so Far:
1 cup of coffee
1 Italian Beef Sandwich (Double Dipped) (I soooo broke today)
Knitted thus far:
The hat that I showed you previously with the pinkish cotton candy yarn came out to be way too big for my little cousin's head so I used the remaining three balls to make a moss stitched scarf that looked all pillowy and puffy so hopefully her parents will like it. I didn't take a picture in time since the birthday party was last night.
I did start and finish another hat in one night's time which made me so excited. It's a Christmas gift for my facilitator Pam. Pam works as a captionist (aka court reporter) and transcribes spoken conversation for me into text. Being a Deafie is never easy but in school it's even harder and without Pam and Jo (my other captionist) I would never succeed in school. So I finished Pam's gift first and made it out of Noro Kureyoun. (??) It is rainbow striped and kinda rough to the touch but the pattern came out pretty cool so I'm' content.
I am also making great progress on my brother's scarf. It's the same kind as my dad's but my brother's has many more mistakes in it. Hopefully he won't notice it too much being a guy. *snickers*
Not a great picture I know but one I took late at night and I was sorta sleepy.
I did also get to finish my sister's gift. She was the one I was making the Calorimetry for. It turned out pretty cool and I could see how it would keep a girl's head warm while not messing up her "do."
And yes that is me modeling for now. I'll make sure to add pictures of the actual people wearing their gifts on Christmas Day.
I've been struggling with the concept of time as of late. Time flies. Time is constant. Time is unchanging. We can try to manage time but time has it's own agenda and doesn't work with our schedule unless it really wants to.
I've been feeling as if time is slowly slipping away from me. My semester quickly approaches it's ending and I still have so much to do. Time does not want to cooperate with me and allow me just a bit more to complete what I have to do. On top of that, time isn't allowing me to do what I would like to do such as knit more, attend my fellowship groups, or hang out with friends. I had an offer to meet a new friend next weekend and I was excited with the prospect of actually going on some type of date for the first time since my breakup and TIME decided to sneak up and shake its ugly bony finger at me saying "Nah uh Meli. You have this new schedule that is going to eat the hours I give you." So I had to cancel this meeting because I now have an internship site to work at. I have to complete 50 hours of time there and that time does not include class time, studying time, or family obligation time. Where does all that fit in? If it doesn't all fit in, what is going to give? My family is very understanding of the demands on my time but I am not going to repeat past mistakes and ignore my family for the sake of school. School is great and school will allow me to learn alot and better serve God's purpose for me. But school isnt' everything and it can't be that my sole purpose in life is to serve people with disabilities. I am still a daughter and a sister and an aunt. Those roles are important too, right?
I want to be able to do so many great things and do them all in his name but I feel that sometimes my energy is not there, that time passes much to fast for my liking, that I don't get to give it my all. What is the point of doing anything in His name if I'm not giving it my all?
So with that said on this Sunday afternoon, I return to the work that I have to complete for tomorrow and pray as I am completing it that God does see what is in my heart and how much it does hurt to not be able to do everything I'm set out to do.
On a positive note, I did get baptized last Sunday which was an awesome experience. My brother was the one who dunked me and it was exhilarating. I've been going through this slow process of change that I can't deny anymore, the old me melting away. This was like hitting the final nail on that coffin. Though it is still a process, it was a very important step forward for me and I'm so glad I got to share it with my brother.
