Saturday, January 22, 2011

Quicky Update

I am so absolutely slow it's pathetic but I finally uploaded the few Christmas pictures I got. I wasn't able to take snapshots of my dad and brother wearing their scarves but I got my sister and brother in law in their gifts.

My Brother in Law Hector with his hat.

My baby girl, little sister Millicent with her headband and a new jacket from mom.

Here's my mom with a picture of a perfume she got from my sister.

This is my precious one, my little niece with her new table and chairs from her grandma (my mom).

Feliz navidad y feliz ano nuevo a todo.

Friday, January 21, 2011

As the chill sets in...

Eaten so far today:
1 yogurt cup
1 (ok 1.5 doughnuts)
1 can of Diet Pepsi
1 cup of coffee

Knitted since the last time:

I've actually been in a knitting slump since the last time we spoke. I'm not sure if it is starting up school again or the heavy course load I signed up for this semester but I've been pretty exhausted and busy reading that I haven't really picked up much.

I did work on my new prayer shawl a bit and have about a foot done. If you look at it carefully you'll notice it is the same pattern as the baby blanket. I love the wave pattern so much that I wanted to do it again. The problem with doing it again is that you're not as motivated to keep knitting because the pattern is so familiar.
Wavy Prayer Shawl in Grey Caron Simply Soft
I have really enjoyed working with the Caron Simply Soft since I've been trying to be frugal. I am missing my wool, alpaca, merino, and blends of the like alot though. I look forward to being able to hit KnitPicks again soon!

I've also picked up my crochet hook again which I haven't done in years. I blame the leader of the Prayer Shawl Ministry at our church, Margo. I love Margo to bits but she did this mystery motif in crochet and I participated. That whetted my appetite for other crocheted items. So I broke down, bought some Red Heart, and began a snowflake throw. I have many more of these motifs done but I wanted to share a sample of what they look like.
Snowflake Throw motifs in Red Heart
I don't typically like Red Heart but I made my mom this headband and scarf set in Red Heart and it was warm and after a wash it was kinda soft so I figured what they heck. It seemed warm enough for the scarf, why not make a throw.

Today is Friday and it happens to be one of the coldest days as of late. I plan to spend time indoors and rest but most importantly, I plan to work on my projects some rather than sit and read. I've been sitting and reading all week. Literally all week. I'm getting quite sick of sitting and reading academic material and it's only the second week. If all I had to read was homework and articles, I could see maybe I'm overreacting but I have to read even in class. My accommodations in my grad classes are real time captions provided by court reporters. They are lovely women and I appreciate all the hard work they do but sometimes I just want to sit and talk to someone. Not talk, sign. I just want to sit and chat with someone in my language. I miss my friends who live far away and as much as I try to fill my days with family and schoolwork, sometimes I just miss my friends and talking about B.S. It hits me when I'm in school how really alone I get and I think sometimes I fall into a state of feeling sorry for myself. I usually bounce out of this pretty quickly so I'm sure by Monday I'll be right as rain. I allow myself these brief moments because they tend to pass and I'm back to being myself. Sometimes I just wish there were more people in the world like me, so maybe when I do come about, I'm not so socially isolated. It would be common to see Deaf and hard of hearing people and it wouldn't be such a shock. Maybe with the way headphones and loud music are being played, I won't be alone for long.


I just returned from my brother's high school. He was recognized for his achievements in English. I love going to these functions, even if they are just a few minutes because I like seeing how others see him. I see the bratty annoying little brother who I love more than life itself but to see what others see, it's pretty cool. He's got so many layers that they only get to see the surface and that surface is one hell of a guy. I added some pictures here so that everyone can share in my pride.

Just a general picture of the assembly in the cafeteria

My brother with his certificate. I took one that was more proper, this one was "booger" style. My nickname for him is the booger.

This is my booger. I forgot what I said but I caught him off guard and snapped this picture to capture him au natural. 

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Getting back into the swing of things...

Eaten so far today:
Can of soup
Piece of bread
Rice with chicken for dinner
And a cup of coffee in the morning

Knitted so far:
Since we last spoke, I have finally completed my first prayer shawl for the prayer shawl minstry I am in. I hope that it reflects the warmth and safety of God's love. I'm already working on number two which I am sharing with you. It looks alot like the baby blanket I made for my teacher but this one is bigger with worsted weight yarn instead.

First Prayer Shawl made from Lion Brand Homespun

Second Prayer Shawl in progress made with Carons Simply Soft

I am approaching the first day of my last semester of school. I am both excited and scared out of my wits. I mean who ever would have thought dumbass...would ever be able to complete this level of study. It leaves me with the burning question: "What else am I capable of?" "Do I even realize my full potential?"
I am sure I'm not the only one who's come across this idea of what can we actually do as human beings? Secular-wise, the possibilities are unlimited, as far as the human mind will imagine. As Christians though, our potential is something we can never even being to imagine. The Lord can do more than we can even possibly imagine. We can think of the most outrageous, insane, cosmic stuff and he can take it not one but 50 steps further and beyond. To wield that kind of power must be amazing, no wonder we are in awe of him.

With this though, I have been wrestling with the concept in my mind of what does he have planned for me. Will it even be close to what I may want or is it in a completely different direction. I realize I have no choice, I accept I have no choice, I am His servant and what He wants I have to oblige...but is it bad to hope? To hope one day to be married and have children? Parents always tell me "Oh you don't want to be a mom, it's so hard and you lose all time for yourself..." That really bothers me. Why would you tell someone what they don't want when they are telling you otherwise? Why would you think my desire to have children is something I should put aside because it's hard? Everything is hard. Anything that is hard is worth having though. If it was easy, what would be the challenge? But now as I pass 28 and continue toward finishing school, I wonder, maybe the Lord put those people in my path to help soften the blow that will happen when I realize, marriage and children are not possible for me.
I don't have opportunities to meet people and I don't even know how I would go about doing that. Unless the good Lord places him right on my doorstep (which is in His power to do), I'm pretty S.O.L.
I could have children on my own, which I would love to adopt but I would not want to put someone through the pain I went through not having a dad around.  How fair is it for me to put a child through a single home like I did just to fulfill that selfish need to have them?

These are weak moments I have that come more and more as I get older. I know I need to have more faith and not question my path. I guess it's hard to resist the urge to be like a whiny child to her Father. Please keep this weak heart in your prayers as I pray for you all in mine.