Tuesday, June 28, 2011

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Ate so far today:
Chorizo and Eggs (yes I really like Chorizo)
Protien coffee drink

Knitted so far:

I am pleased to announce that my two sock sets are finished. That means I am up to a total of four completed socks. Am I a sock knitting addict yet? I believe I am, Sir or Madam, I believe I am.
Mom's Peek A Boo socks. She asked me to make these for her so she can keep her feet warm while wearing flip flops. She gets cold easily. O.o
These are my witchy witchy Jaywalker Socks. As you can see on the left foot, I sorta ran out of the yarn from Knit Picks and had to purchase some Lorna's Laces to finish that one up. Luckily the Lorna's matched many of the colors so it didn't look TOO out of place. Right?

Clandestine. I showed you last time this sock in progress. I have to say this was the most challenging pattern I have ever encountered but I loved every second of it. It really tested my skills and taught me neat tricks and how to repair errors in knitting that I would have never had the balls to do before.

Everyone Outta the Pool! These are my first toe up socks. I have to say I didn't like toe up as much as I had hoped. Or at least I didn't like the short row heel. It left a hole at the gusset. It's probably not as big as I perceive it but it's big enough for me to notice...which is who is most important anyways.

This past week I have been reflecting on the importance of family. My family has been going through several growing pains and life changes these past months that have really impacted the dynamics of how we interact with each other and the love we share.
Growing up, my family was very close. I have a close bond with my brother and sister and we all have a deep relationship with our mother. Our dad (technically my step dad but he's really stepped up since my biological dad doesn't really seem to care) has always been sorta distant but each year I see him trying to get more involved with us. We would have celebrations where everyone would come in and join; bringing foods from our culture, musical instruments, and lots and lots of conversation. I joke with my mom that nobody knew I had such a bad hearing loss because our family was so damn loud that it didn't matter.
Fiesta de la Navidad. (Christmas party) That's my grandpa Angel and grandma Maria singing and playing music. We didn't need stinking iPod playlists.
Grandpa Angel and my little sister Millicent on her first communion.

Your very own Chubby Knitter with the maracas and my little sister Millicent with the G├╝iro.

My Tia Rosa (Green top) and my mom Mary (gold top) holding my little cousin David on his first Christmas. He was born just two weeks before this picture was taken.

Our grandpa Angel, Chubby knitter in the green dress, and little sister in the white.

Grandpa, Grandma, my cousin David (white shirt) and my little brother Dannie, aka The booger (green and blue shirt)

My cousins David and Maribel.
As a family we were poor, we didn't have much money or expensive trinkets or gadgets. We had hand-me-down clothes, Payless footwear, and K-mart. We didn't have TVs in every room, walk-mans (old version iPods LOL), or cell phones. These days were hard but they were good.
Lately, my family has been changing. No longer do we have the loud rambunctious parties where everyone comes together in song and in laughter. No longer do we come together and share. Our family has broken off into corners and only speak to each other in whispers. We pay more attention to our iPhones and Blackberries than we do to each other. This breaks my heart. I want my niece to grow up how I grew up. A struggle, yes, but there was a deep appreciation that we had for each other. We didn't talk through IMs or Facebook, we sat down and looked at each other face to face. We made efforts to make sure we spent time together. I miss these days. Now this is something I have to make sure is in Jazmin's life before it's wiped away from our family forever.
My nice Jazmin. The shorts behind her belong to my brother Dannie.

My preciosa (precious) brushing her teeth before going out with her Tio Dannie and Titi Meli

Here is Jazmin being nosy in grandpa and grandma's room.

My niece is the girl of 1000 faces.

Food court time with Jazmin and a free plug for Subway. Subway...Eat Fresh. Now where's my free subs?
I love it when Jazmin is here because it gives us a chance to bond with her and share with her just like we had when we were kids. It was a fun day had by all though we were fully exhausted by the time we returned home.

I know today's post was full of alot of pictures but I just felt the need to share how much I do love my family and hope that soon we can go back to how it was.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Mother Nature is Bipolar

Ate so far today:
Chorizo and eggs
Cup of homemade chocolate protein coffee drink

Knitted since last time:
I finished up the sock I showed you last time and completed one from the Everyone Outta the Pool. I try to avoid SSS (Second Sock Syndrome) by alternating socks. This won't last for long as I am soon running out of sock yarn. *pouty face* Now to find a job so I can replenish my yarn supply!

Clandestine Sock #1 completed

Everyone Outta the Pool Sock 1 completed

I was hoping this would show the slip pattern texture. My mom said it looks like honeycombs.
Mother nature is bipolar. There isn't much else to say on that... >.>

I wish I could report that I have found a job or at least I am close on my search but nothing has come up yet. Unfortunately, due to the low incidence of hearing loss in the general public, jobs that focus on the Deaf and hard of hearing are not that readily available. I'm starting to regret my decision to not pursue my teaching certificate but then again, who would hire a Deaf teacher to take care of children with severe disabilities such as autism or cognitive impairments. I'm sure nobody would want to discriminate but I have to be realistic. My hearing loss can...no...it WILL impact my ability to be aware of my surroundings. I feel frustrated and angry at that truth but my professors were right to be concerned that I would not be able to find a job.
On more positive news, I did check my weight after all this time. When I had left my ex-husband's house (more his mother's house), I was up to 315. Last I checked (which was a week ago), I am down to 284.5. A slow decline but a decline none-the-less.
I am struggling with feeling more alone. A good friend of mine is moving to Utah to be with his girlfriend and her daughter and I am thrilled for him but I know I will miss having him around now and then. I need to find opportunities to meet people like me. I'm going to try and attend the deaf event this weekend for WSAD (Western Suburban Association for the Deaf) but I am so nervous around people I don't know if I will be able to walk in. Wish me luck.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Summertime and Job hunting

Eaten so far today:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup of oatmeal
                1 serving of homemade blended coffee drink
Lunch: Turkey BLT Sandwich (Delicious and made right in the kitchen!)
           12 Doritos chips (counted)
Snack: 1 Jello Sugar Free cup

Knitted so far today:
Added 7 rounds to the sock on my needles.

Job hunting today is difficult for everyone...especially those with little to no experience. So when I say that I am having a hard time looking for work in my field (Deafness and hearing loss rehabilitation counseling), then you will know what I mean. I am trying not to get upset because I know that everyone is having a hard time, not just me. I just wish I could find a lead to a job where I can help my fellow Deaf and hard of hearing people.

To made matters worse, my car died on me yesterday. I was driving my brother to a bible study session at a church in Oak Brook when it started sputtering then shut off in the middle of the right lane. I couldn't move it off the road or into a parking lot. I was definitely scared but more upset and frustrated than anything. It wasn't until I got home where I really did some reflecting.

I've been a bad Christian. I've lost sight of what I am supposed to be doing, putting my faith in God. I have been so focused on doing something with my life that I forgot it isn't my life to be doing anything with. I fully accept that I have to act as God wishes but lately I've been acting on my own wishes and not talking to my Lord. I had even stopped my daily bible reading that has made me feel even more disconnected from my Lord. I know what I have to do and reestablish that bond with my God, I just feel guilty and kinda pissed at myself for letting it drift as it has. So I ask my brothers and sisters to pray for me as I will pray for all of you to find that connection with God and hopefully together we can give ourselves to the Lord without hestitation.

I did take some pictures to share with everyone. I love being able to share bits and pieces of my life with the world.

These are Peekaboo from Joy of Sox by Linda Kopp. I made them for my mom out of Knit Picks Stroll Handpainted Tonal "Lullaby."

This is the latest prayer shawl I slowly but surely work on when I am able. I do dabble in crochet but I stopped for a while until Margo (our little prayer shawl group leader) "hooked" me again. Damn it!
I have about three rows done but I am taking a break because with the heat, I don't want a hot blanket draping over me.

Here's my Benji. He is sad (as we all are) because we had to put down our Blackie two days ago. She was so ill that it would have been cruel to keep her with us. I would put up a picture but it is still pretty hard to look at her without tearing up.
This is the latest challenge I've taken up. Clandestine in Knit. Sock. Love. by Cookie A. I was doubtful it would fit on my feet since I have some thick legs but it did.

Here's just a little bit of brightness so you can see the pattern better.

Here's my Lorna's Laces yarn Shepard Sock Solid "Cookie's Deep Dark Secret." It was a total accident that I already owned the same yarn used in the pattern. So I figured...why not?

This is the love of my life, Scott Bakula. Yes he is all dressed up.

This is the next sock on my list. It's called Everbody Outta the Pool. Pretty cool huh?