Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Happy Birthday, Chubby Knitter!

Eaten so far today:
Way too much to say and be proud of....but it was delicious

Knitted so far today:
Nothing as it has been a wild crazy busy day.

I know it's been a while since my last post and I do apologize for the few who do actually keep up. This past month has been only about school. Like...only about school. Project after project and paper after paper. Finals are finally done and I am only working on my internship now. I really thought that I was going to have a nervous breakdown midway through but with the grace of God I've made it through, praise Him!

I have made a big decision recently and I have decided to go back to using hearing aids. I've spent the past few years not using them because frankly, they suck. I really hate the feeling of having plastic shoved in my ear and listening to what sounds like breath on a microphone all day. But that's not the worse part of it all. It's the stigma that kills me. The look that you get from people who see these hooks on the back of your ears or the chunk of plastic stuck inside and they get it...they know. Why does the fact that I am Deaf freak people out so much? Why do I get the automatic assumptions that either I can't communicate intelligently? Or that I am not capable of higher thought? I just get really frustrated with the whole backwards way it is. We're supposed to be trying to contribute to society but then we're getting the shaft in the way people assume.
Now I have to go through the whole stupid process of getting new hearing aids so that I can function in this world that has no room for a Deaf person like me and am still expected to act like a hearing person, speak like a hearing person even though I am NOT a hearing person.
On a happier note, I do finish  my Master's program next semester. It's been made official, the classes I have now are all I need to finish. I just have to get through Spring semester and pass the classes I've registered for and I am home free. How cool is that? All these years of work culminating to this...I couldn't be happier.
Now as this year comes to a close, I am happy to say I'm glad I went through all the crap I did. I learned not to take anything for granted, don't have such low standards for myself, and to always want the best. It's very hard to want the best when you have to start accepting that you are worthy of the best. So thank you for listening to my rants these past months and for listening in the future.

Ohh by the way! December 15th I turn 28 so keep me in your prayers please as I battle another year with yarn and life!

What I've made since the last time:
Baby blanket for my Behavioral Studies teacher. She was having her first son. Her first two girls are absolute dolls!

This hat was actually done but I never got a picture of it before I gave it to my communication facilitator. She's one awesome lady and I love her to bits. She helps me so much.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Happy November!

Eaten so Far:
1 cup of coffee
1 Italian Beef Sandwich (Double Dipped) (I soooo broke today)

Knitted thus far:
The hat that I showed you previously with the pinkish cotton candy yarn came out to be way too big for my little cousin's head so I used the remaining three balls to make a moss stitched scarf that looked all pillowy and puffy so hopefully her parents will like it. I didn't take a picture in time since the birthday party was last night.

I did start and finish another hat in one night's time which made me so excited. It's a Christmas gift for my facilitator Pam. Pam works as a captionist (aka court reporter) and transcribes spoken conversation for me into text. Being a Deafie is never easy but in school it's even harder and without Pam and Jo (my other captionist) I would never succeed in school. So I finished Pam's gift first and made it out of Noro Kureyoun. (??) It is rainbow striped and kinda rough to the touch but the pattern came out pretty cool so I'm' content. 
Noro Hat for Pam from Ravelry
I am also making great progress on my brother's scarf. It's the same kind as my dad's but my brother's has many more mistakes in it. Hopefully he won't notice it too much being a guy. *snickers*
Not a great picture I know but one I took late at night and I was sorta sleepy.

I did also get to finish my sister's gift. She was the one I was making the Calorimetry for. It turned out pretty cool and I could see how it would keep a girl's head warm while not messing up her "do."
Side shot with little gold button.

Sister's Gift on Ravelry
And yes that is me modeling for now. I'll make sure to add pictures of the actual people wearing their gifts on Christmas Day.

I've been struggling with the concept of time as of late. Time flies. Time is constant. Time is unchanging. We can try to manage time but time has it's own agenda and doesn't work with our schedule unless it really wants to.
I've been feeling as if time is slowly slipping away from me. My semester quickly approaches it's ending and I still have so much to do. Time does not want to cooperate with me and allow me just a bit more to complete what I have to do. On top of that, time isn't allowing me to do what I would like to do such as knit more, attend my fellowship groups, or hang out with friends. I had an offer to meet a new friend next weekend and I was excited with the prospect of actually going on some type of date for the first time since my breakup and TIME decided to sneak up and shake its ugly bony finger at me saying "Nah uh Meli. You have this new schedule that is going to eat the hours I give you." So I had to cancel this meeting because I now have an internship site to work at. I have to complete 50 hours of time there and that time does not include class time, studying time, or family obligation time. Where does all that fit in? If it doesn't all fit in, what is going to give? My family is very understanding of the demands on my time but I am not going to repeat past mistakes and ignore my family for the sake of school. School is great and school will allow me to learn alot and better serve God's purpose for me. But school isnt' everything and it can't be that my sole purpose in life is to serve people with disabilities. I am still a daughter and a sister and an aunt. Those roles are important too, right?
I want to be able to do so many great things and do them all in his name but I feel that sometimes my energy is not there, that time passes much to fast for my liking, that I don't get to give it my all. What is the point of doing anything in His name if I'm not giving it my all?
So with that said on this Sunday afternoon, I return to the work that I have to complete for tomorrow and pray as I am completing it that God does see what is in my heart and how much it does hurt to not be able to do everything I'm set out to do.

On a positive note, I did get baptized last Sunday which was an awesome experience. My brother was the one who dunked me and it was exhilarating. I've been going through this slow process of change that I can't deny anymore, the old me melting away. This was like hitting the final nail on that coffin. Though it is still a process, it was a very important step forward for me and I'm so glad I got to share it with my brother.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

And where the "f" did she go?!

Eaten so far today:
2 slices of low cal bread
1 tsp of margerine
1 cup of coffee
1 cup of Light and Fit Yogurt

Knitted since last entry:
I finished quite a bit actually. I got that long scarf finally done.
X's and O's Pattern from Ralvelry

Finished my brother in law's black hat in KP Swish Coal. Let me tell you KP Swish is so soft and squishy I love knitting with it. The only draw back was there were some fuzzed pieces in the yarn but I knit through them like a trooper.
Macho Roll -Brim Seaman's Watch Cap on Ravelry.

I also finished my niece's little pink scarf in KP Swish Worsted Carnation. This one was a bit of a pill (not pilling yarn, just a pain in the a$$). I couldn't get the stitch count to match what the pattern asked for. There was either too many increases or decreases and by the time I finished the first two rows I had more stitches than I should. It came out alright though so I can't complain.
Fletching Silk Scarf Pattern on Ravelry.

I also completed a hat for my little cousin (She's technically my second or third cousin). It's her first birthday next week and I want to make her a hat and scarf set in this really bulky multi colored baby yarn. I have a feeling it's going to be too big on her little head but hopefully she'll get some use out of it and the scarf once the scarf is done. hehe
Chubby Cat Hats Pattern on Ravelry.

Right now I'm working on a head band for my sister called Calorimetry. It took me a while to cast on this one because I was reading the pattern beforehand and it confused me a bit. I've only done one set of socks so far in my knitting career so turning short rows is still kind of new. So once again when I'm intimidated by a pattern I build up courage then dive in and do exactly what the pattern says in the midst of knitting and so far it's turning out alright...at least I hope!

Calorimetry on Ravelry.

So where the hell have I been? Nobody's been bold enough to ask me and sometimes I wonder if anyone even noticed the few weeks I have been silent. I wish I could say that I have spent these past few weeks on a fabulous vacation or starting up a new romance but no such luck for this chubby knitter. These past few weeks have been spent immersed in school work. I've had to turn out roughly 30 pages of written work between three classes and an internship, several hours on observation and still have several interviews that I have to conduct for this internship. I love the opportunity to be able to go to grad school but goodness, the work is getting intense.

My knitting is also something that has had to be put to the back burner. (Yes despite the number of FO you see, my knitting has really slowed down. Hats were done in one day each and scarf was done in three days) Now normally, I would be alright with this as I understand totally education has to come before my hobby. I just never realized how much that hobby has become a part of my behavior. I think I'm getting stressed beyond recognition because for the last few days my eye has been twitching and I've been getting really horrible migraines. But this really has to be a sign of God's amazing work that when you overwork the body, it responds by forcing you to rest.

I really do love knitting though. Knitting my Christmas gifts this year really has put it in perspective to me. I knit a lot and often don't put much emphasis on what I give away but really as knitters we should. I realized I will be giving the people I love the most something made stitch by stitch with them in mind. That every inch of the yarn they wear on their person has passed through my fingertips. Their gift is carried daily with me more than I would remember my cellphone, iPod, or even keys. Their gift becomes my constant companion until it's ends are woven in and finishing touches are made. I pose this statement fellow knitters...that knitted gifts are the most intimate gesture between two people and should not be taken for granted, by the recipient or the knitter themselves.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Have you ever felt...?

Eaten So Far:
Bowl of Pasta
Glass of Coke Zero
Stuffed Zucchini (Which was surprisingly tasty)

Knitted So Far:
Since we last spoke I've started my dad's Christmas gift and have a good four feet on that scarf. (Pictures will be included soon)

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you just kind of shut down? Like there is so much coming in from this side and that side that you almost can't breath and rather than face it you just retreat to the security of your room?

This has been my week. Now in all earnest I really do try to keep up with reading and assignments but goodness...the schoolwork has been beyond overwhelming. Grad school is hard work and I knew it going in...I guess I'm just ready for it to be done already.
I've written several papers this week, checked out books from the library for a 8 to 10 page research paper due in 20 days, three articles that I have to contribute to a group assignment, and now supervising my brother's geometry homework. I fear that if school alone can become so overwhelming how will I ever survive the real world? I  mean, lives will be in my hands, people! Not just theoretical children and anonymous case studies but real, breathing, vital, children with disabilities. It's making me begin to question my ability to be any service to my children (my children meaning the children I'll be working with). I'm trying not to let this affect my confidence but it's just so difficult to not question or doubt. Is this really my path? Is this really where He wants me to be? I mean, my Lord wouldn't challenge me beyond what He knew I was capable of right?

I can't even say how much I yearn to work with my children. How much I want to know as much as I can so when I'm with those families, possibly in their lowest hours, I want to comfort them and show them it will really be ok..that their kids are just able and capable and smart as anyone else's kids. That, as a family, they can rejoice in their child and reap those benefits that come with having a child with a disability, the love and unity it can bring. It doesn't come with struggle of course but nothing is worth anything without that struggle.

Perhaps that's what I need to accept in myself. Nothing is worth anything if I don't have to struggle. My degree won't mean anything if I don't struggle for it.

So let's struggle in all we do...let's work hard and make that final product worth all the blood sweat and tears! Who's with me?!



My oops of the week...I was cabling and forgot to reintroduce the moved stitches on the main needle. OOPS!

This is my dad's scarf for Christmas. It's much longer now but still a WIP. You can find the pattern here.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Merry Christmas Chubby Knitter!

Eaten so far:
Breakfast: Tuna Sandwich
                Yogurt Cup
                 Cup of Coffee
Lunch: Sixpack of Maki Unagi BBQ rolls
           Bottle of ice coffee (not healthy but I needed the energy :( )
Dinner: Half a boiled potatoe
            Seasoned roasted chicken breast (made by my brother and it was ever so tasty)

Knitted thus far:
I finally finished the I Cords for my mom's legwarmers! Now to make the pom poms and then turn to my Christmas knitting! I would take pictures but I just lost power so all I have are pictures I took before the lights went out.

Do you ever hate when you get behind? How about when you get behind by accident...when you totally thought you were ahead?

That happened to me this week. I try really hard to keep up with my work. Reading has always been a struggle for me and I have to read things multiple times to really grasp its message. So being focused on that made me completely miss the fact that I had a paper due this past Wednesday. Imagine the shock and horror I feel when I enter the classroom and see people handing in papers. O.O <~~~ That's really how I looked.

I couldn't lie and say the dog ate it so I fessed up to the teacher and explained that I sincerely missed this and was so sorry and would turn it in ASAP. I felt sick to my stomach over it. I know it's a mistake everyone makes but I already have the sense this lady does not like me or does not understand me. I really wanted to make a good impression and I failed by completely glossing over the fact I had a paper due. So I made a plan to work on this paper on Saturday.
Friday, I had to see my grandfather. It's coming up on the anniversary of my grandmother's passing (it's tomorrow actually) and this time of the year is very hard for us, but especially him. He really just wanted to sit and talk about her and how could I deny him? So I went despite the fact that I really did have homework to do. I know..I know. I am supposed to be a responsible student and do my work. I really only have this semester and next semester before I graduate but it's really hard to think about ignoring my extended family since as Puerto Ricans, we don't have extended family, just a big family.
I didn't get to spend much time with him because I got a call from my aunt (mom's sister) that she needed me to come and get her son so she can have a night of fun. Wait...did I say this right? Does it make her sound bad? Well good, cause it was exactly how it came out. I was appalled but I figured it would be safer to get the kid out of there rather than leaving him with his mother who's sole intention this weekend was to, as she put it, "party."
So my cousin and I rode home to my mom's and the rest of the night I chatted with my mom, had a drink, and skipped the Young Adult group meeting just this once. I had felt so overwhelmed from school this week I just wanted to go to my room and watch Doctor Who. (Big Doctor Who fan!)
Saturday approached way too soon for me and now started my feat of strength, my test of endurance, my paper. Now a simple 3 to 5 page paper may seem like nothing, and in reality it is really not that bad. The part that really bit was having to read the two books that were required for the paper. I have never loved and hated a person so much after having to spend hours reading two books about him. This man is named John Dewey. No no no, I was not reading about the Dewey Decimal system! (I really had someone ask me that today...a fellow Education grad student!) Dewey was a part of the progressive school movement, a philosopher who encouraged children be educated through structured experiences and inquiry. The topic is really fascinating and I did love the idea of children exploring their world...but from 9 am til about 9 pm? I can only love someone for so long before wanting to strangle them. From 9pm til midnight, I worked on the paper and emailed it in right away. I wanted the damn thing out of my sight.
Sunday was a semi better day. I went in early for church with my brother and cousin. I manned the tables for the bake off sign up during the Barn Dance our Young Adult group is sponsoring. I met a lot of really nice people from encouraging them to sign up. I am still kind of new to this place and just getting to know people. I enjoyed a group called Mosaic as they performed during our service. It's a very talented group of people who sang worship songs. Just have to say, LOVED IT! If you're into worship music here is their link. (Click Here)
The only thing that really saddened me that day was having to take my cousin back to his mother. I really hated that part. My aunt never used to be so crass or cold. When we were kids, my aunt was always the cool aunt, going bike riding with us, going to museums on the Free days, taking us to visit our great grandparents when they were still with us, and all that kind of stuff. Where it went wrong I don't know but right now I don't care. I just can't imagine watching my little cousin (he's about 12) going through those feelings of being unwanted. It hurts me because I know his older brother suffered the same and now his older brother is God knows where.

These are the things I just need to put into God's hands and let Him work it out.

On a lighter note....

I got my KnitPicks order today!! I was walking out my front door when lo' and behold there it was sitting on the front stoop. I picked it up and brought it in but had to leave it behind without opening the box because I had to go to class. I was itching to get home as soon as possible so when Dr. K let us out early today I practically rushed home. I wanted to prolong the anticipation (Oh how cruel I am to myself) so I sat down and ate dinner, chit chatted with my mom, then proceeded up the stairs to my room. Once I closed the door I ripped open the box and pulled everything out one by one. I took pictures of every step so here we go.

The tape just ripped apart and....*breath deeply*

Yarn! Glorious beautiful soft yarn!!

And under that KP Swish is....? More yarn! Yay!

Alas it can not all be yarn...or can it? There is my new Chart Holder from KP..a very nifty contraption.

And there are my new needles...I decided to give the KP Harmony set a try. We shall see how they perform in the Chubby Knitter's hands!

My new book "Vampire Knits." For those who don't know, I have a black soul (At least that's what my sister says) and I have a love for things that are dark and sinister. (Not necessarily evil just mysterious)
And my second book, "Big Book of Socks." I've been wanting to really nail down sock knitting for a while but requests keep popping up and they go further and further down the list. I have lots of Felici Yarn from KP and I am so anxious to make myself a pair of Doctor Who socks! (Time Traveler Felici Sock Yarn)

And there it is...my full KP Order. Starting at the bottom I have 7 hanks of KP Swish Bulky in Hawk (Dad and brother's scarves). To the right of that I have two hanks of KP Swish Bulky in Coal (Brother in law's hat). Right above the Swish in Coal is KP Shamrock in Stuart (It's a blue-ish yellow tweed looking yarn. It's for my sister's headband), To the left of that is Felici in Marine Life (3 skeins just for myself). Above the Felici is my KP Harmony knitting needle set (That too is a Christmas present from me for me). To the right of the needles is my Chart Holder from KP. Then my two books "Vampire Knit" and "The Big Book of Socks"

If anyone has reviews over any of the items shown please leave comments!

Til next time dear reader, happy knittin'

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Happy Saturday

Eaten so far:
One Pancake (literally one)
One tablespoon of syrup.
One quarter sandwich from Jimmy Johns
(Weekends at home are often difficult to keep track of nutrition facts so I just try to be reasonable)

Knitted thus far:
Meli's Purple Mosey Legwarmers
Legwarmers are finished! Oh my God They came out looking so kick ass!
Mom's straight legged legwarmers in Black
Now I'm working on my mom's which are more straight legged than my flared ones. Plus they are in Gloss HW Black from Knit Picks. Just let me say they feel like a dream though I think some balls may have been affected by moisture. They were a bit felted while knitting but barely noticeable once knitted up. I'm including a picture of my mom's as well.
I'm already on the second one with good reason. Christmas is coming up and though my list is brief (Dad, brother, sister, niece, brother in law...mom's gift is the legwarmers), I have holiday knitting to commence.

Well here we are approaching autumn and isn't it grand. I mean really...isn't it grand? How can you not love the visual miracle of the way our world changes almost overnight? To me you KNOW God exists when you see how the leaves change, the trees go to sleep, the air crisps just enough to suck in that sweet fall breeze. If you could not tell dear reader, I am in love with fall.
Last fall, I was not in a good place personally and it reflected mostly, in my knitting. I was living with a boy who did not love me. I was drowning in school work, using it as an escape to hide from everyone how big I was getting, how sad I was, how alone I was feeling even when I was in a bar full of people. I was drinking alot more, smoking like a chimney and doing other things that were self destructive. It was also last fall that it was the first anniversary of my grandma's passing which made it all hit rock bottom.
Did I tell you about my grandma?
My grandma was my closest confidant. I could tell her anything and she would never judge me. She was the pillar and the glue of our Santiago family. We lost her October 5th 2008, two months shy (exactly two months) of her birthday. I was devastated. She was everything to me and she died just as  my marriage was falling apart and I was out of school. I didn't want her to remember me like that. The last things we talked about was how I was getting a divorce at 25 and that I would be graduating college without my teaching certificate. I felt like a complete failure.
Fast forward one year, I was back in school and trying to work out my relationship with my ex husband. Both of these things failing miserably once again. Had I really stayed that still that entire year. Was I so numbed by her death that I didn't even try to move and improve myself? Or was I that good at lying to myself and trying to make myself believe that I was improving? I'm pretty sure it was me lying to myself. I lied to myself that I could be a teacher, I lied to myself that my boyfriend actually loved me when I knew in my heart he didn't, I lied to myself that I didn't need anyone and I could do it all on my own. I just couldn't cope with life, especially a life without my most unconditional support, her.
Fast forward another year. October 5th is approaching. I still cry when I think about all that she's missing here. My niece growing, my upcoming graduation, my sister's life, my little siblings growing up without that warmth and love (my rant about my dad and his wife will have to be left to another post). All these things my grandma is not here with us to enjoy where we can see her, hug her, cry with her, and laugh. It's been two years since I've been able to ask for a blessing before we part and have her putting the cross on my forehead giving me a 2 minute blessing in Spanish.        
I am going into a field where I can do God's work as He wants me to. I am single but I am happy and loving myself again. I am more aware of my needs as well as what God expects of me as a Christian woman, sister, aunt, and daughter. I am forging that relationship with Him, even though I falter, I know I try earnestly and I will keep on trying with all my heart. So the two year anniversary is fast approaching and I know on that day I will be sad but I will also be happy because at least now I KNOW she will see what her family is doing and hopefully be proud of me.
From Left to Right: My Grandpa Vicente, Meli (Me), and my grandma Maria Cristina at my Quince Anos (Sweet 15)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Allergies!! Dame youse!!

Current weight: 296.5LBS (Gained a pound and a half but I'm able to fit into 2x clothing now so I'm hoping that's just muscle from the increased activity.

Eaten so far today: Nothing, just woke up. :( I plan on having one ounce of chorizo with a quarter cup of egg substitute and 1 low carb tortilla.

Knitted so far these past two weeks. I completed one leg warmer and am currently working on the other. I received my KnitPicks Options interchangeable needles last week and have been using them like mad. Love them!!

If you want to watch the progress of these legwarmers check out my Ravelry page: http://www.ravelry.com/projects/MSantiago/mosey

I wake up this morning just coming off a week long allergy attack. And I literally mean attack. I've been as sick as a dog, tearing, coughing, sneezing, stuffy nosed, runny nosed (yes both at the same time!), scratchy throat, itchy eyes, etc etc. It's made my life pretty unpleasant but hasn't stopped me from knitting. Really, only the hand of God itself can stop me from knitting, but I digress.

This past Friday I attended the Young Adult Group Kick off BBQ for my church. Mind you I'm not a social person...perhaps why I communicate so freely with a blog...but I digress. I went to this barbecue with the intention of trying to make new friends but quite honestly, I was terrified out of my mind. It wasn't my hearing loss and the thought of communicating with these people that terrified me, I'm used to having to maneuver among hearing people. What terrified me was that I am putting myself in the middle of a group of people I don't know...and I actually cared if they liked me or not. What if I'm not a likable person? A social outcast? I had been used to being one through high school and most of college. In the end I really ended up with two good friends, both of them I rarely see due to distance. These people though, the group, would see me more often and live in the same vicinity as me. That scared me. So I went, and though there were awkward moments of communication (the entire back yard was dark so lipreading was very hard) I think it went fairly well. I did get to talk to a few people and those that I didn't get to chat with I am sure I will meet this coming Friday at bible study.
This Sunday my mom took me to Kohls. Now being 27 years old I prefer to shop for myself but being Puerto Rican and having a Puerto Rican mother like mine, you really can't say no when she tells (not asks) you, you're going shopping. I do appreciate the clothing she got me though, they are really nice and they are 2X sized and they fit! Holy cow. I was shocked since it's been a while since I could fit into 2X. I am usually a 3X. Any little sign of progress helps you know? I have to be more focused on writing down what I am eating though. I've gotten it to such a routine that I don't want to keep on writing down the same thing over and over. Lame I know, but I know I will have to do better. My eating hasn't increased though which is a relief and I've practically cut out fast food (I think I had an Italian beef sandwich that I shared this past weekend and a chicken pita sandwich two weeks ago). This hasn't been easy though. I feel the pull of temptation every time I pass a Burger King or McD's . How I miss the taste of a yummy burger but I am trying hard. Hopefully it will pay off.
This past Tuesday I stayed home so I could attend the Comforting Legacies Prayer Shawl ministry meeting. As you could probably guess, this was a crafting group ministry (knitting/crocheting) and they were making prayer shawls for people in need. I loved the idea of this when I got the flier at church last week so I decided to make a go of it. I was a few minutes late due to dropping off the little brother at his bible study but I got to sit down and meet this wonderful group of women. They were all so nice and warm. The only complaint that I would have of that evening was that I had to crochet! *laughing* I am not against crocheting but I just don't have a feel for it. I was totally able to finish a square before I left but I prefer knitting and I feel (I'm pretty sure I actually do) knit faster than I crochet. It's a comfort level and I am not comfortable with crochet. So I did a square of single crochet and handed it in to be part of a larger quilt then asked if I could start knitting again. She said that I could knit a square by next Tuesday and I agreed. While working a legwarmer I have already finished have the square that is set for a few days from now. I am confident I'll have that and some done soon.

When I arrived back to my dorm I found a happy surprise. I had received packages! Packages are like early Christmas presents to me for several reasons: 1. I get to open a big box with my name on it, 2. It is typically something that I will really like, and 3. The anticipation of picking it up from the front desk. I received two new books and a package from KnitPicks! The two books I got were a Hip Knits pattern book and the Free Range Knitter book from the Yarn Harlot. I am a huge fan of the Yarn Harlot and whenever I read her books I feel like she crawled into my brain with a megaphone and is shouting everything I am thinking. I just wish I could get her needles! She uses Signature which she dubs the "Ferrari" of knitting needles. I have long wondered how I could save to get a set for myself. Mind you one set is over 300 dollars. I consider that I did save for my iPod touch which was over 300 as well and since I would use these needles til the finish wore off it might be worth the investment. If you haven't seen the Signature Arts website do so as soon as you can, it's like a candy shop for knitters, or better said a candy shop for rich knitters. KnitPicks is really the candy shop for us all.
The KnitPicks yarn shown is the Black Gloss HW. I was originally going to use the yarn to make my mom a set of legwarmers just like the Mosey but I found out this weekend (to my absolute surprise) she wants her legwarmers to cinch at the ankle so they tuck into her boots! I was like O.O...seriously? I've shown my mom this pattern 100 times and finally she got that they are meant to drape over the shoe not tuck into it. So now I have to find a pattern (or modify the Mosey) to close about her ankle so it tucks into the boot. Ugh!
Well friends that is all I have for today. I head to class then tomorrow I return home as per usual. Friday night I have my second gathering with the Young Adult group which I am looking forward to. On Saturday is my niece's first birthday party and for those who do not know who my niece is, she is the light of my existence, my precious one. I love that little girl more than life itself and can't imagine my world without her. Hard to imagine that only a year ago (On the 26th), I was in the hospital room with her mom (my sister). After the delivery my sister was so exhausted she went right to sleep. I stayed the night and rocked and snuggled my new niece spending the first hours of her outside life with her. Those are precious memories that will stay with me forever.

My Jazmin and her Tia Meli (me) on her birthday

Thursday, September 2, 2010

How Lemons become Lemonade

Ate So Far:
Can of Diet Sprite (0 Cal, 0 Fat, 0 Carbs)
1/4 cup of almonds (180 Cal, 14 Fat, 6 Carbs) (Not my best meal but all I had that I could make without water due to water shut down)

Knitted So Far:
4 new rows! I'm shaping the triangle section of my Kri-Kerchief.

This week has definitely been one of ups and downs. When living on campus you are truly at the mercy of the university's policy changes. I don't mean small policy changes like "no more chicken soup on Wednesdays." I mean policy changes that are done without involving the student body that DIRECTLY affect the student body.
This is my mini rant as I had been fuming about this since I discovered the change to the point that I wrote stern emails to the higher ups at the university and am still hoping for a response.
Monday night I went to class for the first time (Last week I was driving back and forth with my sister trying to get my car out of the shop). I left class at 7:30 that night and waited by the bus stop that I always waited by to head home to the far west side of campus (classes are on the east side). I waited...and waited...and waited...for over an hour. I called the bus service 4 times, the first three times the phone rang until it automatically disconnected, the last time someone finally picked up. It was then, four phone calls and an hour later that I find out that bus no longer runs. Now for us who live on the west side of campus, we have to take the east campus route to an obscure stop and wait for another bus to take us to the west side of campus. That was upsetting enough being in a part of the city that is not exactly safe but then I discover this West Campus bus no longer stops at the dorms at all but stops a block away! Are you serious? Seriously?! So not only do I have to transfer between two buses at night in the dark but I have to walk home alone in the dark? This makes sense when we receive numerous emails about violence and crimes against UIC students? Policymakers! Listen up! Students who come to your university expect some reasonable level of security! Let's be responsible here! Dropping off students away from their dorms in the dark is not acceptable. What's even more nerve-wracking is that my dorm is directly across the street of Cook County Hospital. Cook County Hospital is not the swankiest of hospitals like Rush or University of Chicago. It looks nothing like it did in the show ER. Let's be reasonable, people please.
End Rant
So these lemons that are just growing through the week til Wednesday. Wednesday I had my first meeting with my internship adviser. I was understandably nervous being this is my first internship ever. I had no idea what to expect or what was expected of me. So I had my meeting yesterday and right away we start discussing what I would be doing. Originally I applied for my Masters to become a special educator. After the first year, it dawned on the professors and myself that being a teacher in a classroom may not be the best place for me. The professors did say that I could achieve success at school and learn all the techniques but my hearing would prove to be a challenge that could adversely affect my students. Had I been in a Deaf classroom with Deaf children, that would be a different case but children with Autism, Downs Syndrome, Cognitive Delays, and the like need their teachers to be fully aware, which includes hearing. I was sad about it but first and foremost I do not want to be a determent to any student out there. So it was time to figure what to do next. My internship adviser suggested I switch concentrations and look into careers in early intervention or transition services in which I would still be servicing children with disabilities, but in a different capacity. I don't need to tell you, dear reader, that I was all kinds of cool with that. If anything, this is more toward what I do enjoy which is consulting, educating, and advocating. I want to be the one fighting for my student to have everything he or she needs and be given every opportunity to be full participating members of society.
So back to the meeting...
We agreed that I would start investigating different agencies, interviewing students and professionals who work with children with needs, and starting a resource guide to early intervention and transition services as well as student input onto what they would like. I loved the meeting. I was so inspired and still am. This is doable and not only will I be able to accomplish my requirements but I will be able to learn so much from the students and other people. I just feel so blessed. I was in school so decorum is vital so I couldn't squeal for joy in the halls, so I did squeal for joy in thanks on Ravelry.
Now I still have the bus issue to contend with but the bus issue is so small when compared to the great light shined on my path and how I can serve Him. Since I've started this journey into knowing my God, I always was afraid that I would miss the clues on what was my purpose. Why did I loose my hearing? Why did I struggle so much in school? I just felt like I got some big answers and a big red arrow pointed "THIS WAY MELI!" This is how He can work through me...more so this is how He intended to work through me. How can I not be just bursting in joy and gratitude? I can't so now that I'm in my dorm room. *SQUEEEEEL!!!*

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

First Day Back at School

So Far Today:
2 slices of bread (70 Calories 16 Carbs)
2 slices of turkey breast (250 Calories, .2g Carbs)
1 tbsp May (35 Calories, 1 Carb)
2 slices of tomato (11.6 Calories, 2.3 Carbs)
2 Romaine Heart leaves (1 Calorie, 0 Carbs)
1 cup Pomagranite Tea (3 Calories, 0 Carbs)

Knitted So Far:
0 rows

Week's Weight in: Haven't been able to do it yet due to move in.

I spent my first night back at my dorm and had the worst night trying to sleep.You would think, after the past three months sleeping on couches and mattresses on the floor I would be grateful for the bed that was mine and sleep peacefully. No dice, readers. I even stooped to having a drink to try and drift off to sleep but it didn't help either. Perhaps it's just like my mom said, I'm still in mourning. I'm still mourning the loss of my relationship. 11 years out of anyone's life is alot and to have it all gone is hard.

I've started a journal on my daily meals but it's hardly as easy at my mom made it seem. Even now I had a sandwich and a cup of tea for breakfast and I feel kind of weak. Maybe I need to up the calories so I have more to burn. I also used my mom's exercise DVD and did the .75 mile walk before I pooped out. I can tell now how long it's been since I did any serious exercise because Boy did I get tired quickly! I was sweating for just simple steps. I will not let this get me more down though and just keep on trying to progress to a full mile.

I attend my first class today. I actually had one on Monday but I was so sick from a sushi night out with my new roommate, my sister, and my cousin that I was unable to attend. I'm feeling better now and so now I attend my first class tonight at 5. I'm ready to get school started on the right foot even though personally I still feel down. We'll see how today goes, I'll try to come back tonight and report. Til then everyone, happy knitting and happy eating.