Sunday, November 7, 2010

Happy November!

Eaten so Far:
1 cup of coffee
1 Italian Beef Sandwich (Double Dipped) (I soooo broke today)

Knitted thus far:
The hat that I showed you previously with the pinkish cotton candy yarn came out to be way too big for my little cousin's head so I used the remaining three balls to make a moss stitched scarf that looked all pillowy and puffy so hopefully her parents will like it. I didn't take a picture in time since the birthday party was last night.

I did start and finish another hat in one night's time which made me so excited. It's a Christmas gift for my facilitator Pam. Pam works as a captionist (aka court reporter) and transcribes spoken conversation for me into text. Being a Deafie is never easy but in school it's even harder and without Pam and Jo (my other captionist) I would never succeed in school. So I finished Pam's gift first and made it out of Noro Kureyoun. (??) It is rainbow striped and kinda rough to the touch but the pattern came out pretty cool so I'm' content. 
Noro Hat for Pam from Ravelry
I am also making great progress on my brother's scarf. It's the same kind as my dad's but my brother's has many more mistakes in it. Hopefully he won't notice it too much being a guy. *snickers*
Not a great picture I know but one I took late at night and I was sorta sleepy.

I did also get to finish my sister's gift. She was the one I was making the Calorimetry for. It turned out pretty cool and I could see how it would keep a girl's head warm while not messing up her "do."
Side shot with little gold button.

Sister's Gift on Ravelry
And yes that is me modeling for now. I'll make sure to add pictures of the actual people wearing their gifts on Christmas Day.

I've been struggling with the concept of time as of late. Time flies. Time is constant. Time is unchanging. We can try to manage time but time has it's own agenda and doesn't work with our schedule unless it really wants to.
I've been feeling as if time is slowly slipping away from me. My semester quickly approaches it's ending and I still have so much to do. Time does not want to cooperate with me and allow me just a bit more to complete what I have to do. On top of that, time isn't allowing me to do what I would like to do such as knit more, attend my fellowship groups, or hang out with friends. I had an offer to meet a new friend next weekend and I was excited with the prospect of actually going on some type of date for the first time since my breakup and TIME decided to sneak up and shake its ugly bony finger at me saying "Nah uh Meli. You have this new schedule that is going to eat the hours I give you." So I had to cancel this meeting because I now have an internship site to work at. I have to complete 50 hours of time there and that time does not include class time, studying time, or family obligation time. Where does all that fit in? If it doesn't all fit in, what is going to give? My family is very understanding of the demands on my time but I am not going to repeat past mistakes and ignore my family for the sake of school. School is great and school will allow me to learn alot and better serve God's purpose for me. But school isnt' everything and it can't be that my sole purpose in life is to serve people with disabilities. I am still a daughter and a sister and an aunt. Those roles are important too, right?
I want to be able to do so many great things and do them all in his name but I feel that sometimes my energy is not there, that time passes much to fast for my liking, that I don't get to give it my all. What is the point of doing anything in His name if I'm not giving it my all?
So with that said on this Sunday afternoon, I return to the work that I have to complete for tomorrow and pray as I am completing it that God does see what is in my heart and how much it does hurt to not be able to do everything I'm set out to do.

On a positive note, I did get baptized last Sunday which was an awesome experience. My brother was the one who dunked me and it was exhilarating. I've been going through this slow process of change that I can't deny anymore, the old me melting away. This was like hitting the final nail on that coffin. Though it is still a process, it was a very important step forward for me and I'm so glad I got to share it with my brother.

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